My inlaws want to come visit after baby is born. Fine.
I prefer them NOT to come while I'm still in the hospital and usually request 2 weeks after baby is born. I have never yet actually GOTTEN 2 weeks.
It's like these people think these babies are dropped off by the friggin' stork and aren't actually coming out of MY BODY.
Better yet, it will be at Christmas!!! AND they've invited BIL AND SIL to come too. To my house. MY HOUSE. What part of this makes sense?! I don't think BIL and SIL will actually come, at least not without clearing it with us. But, so soon after a baby, my gawd. The thought of entertaining, and at Christmas too, is daunting - to say the least. The no sleeping-round the clock nursing-physically unable to sit or stand comfortably-don't want to get dressed and wear makeup for you people-stage is not that short. I need a month, minimum, before I even start to feel like facing the world again.
Shit.
And now we're already fighting because he doesn't think his parents should have to stay in a hotel. F that. I will be as gracious a host as I possibly can, but they are taking their happy asses to a hotel.
If they can't afford it (they can) they can cut their trip short. I've already sent them a list of hotels that they will find acceptable (i.e. cheap and close).
I'm through bending over backwards. I'm the one having this baby, I'm not going to take this shit anymore. What is wrong with AnonHim that he forgets this conversation EVERY TIME WE HAVE A BABY. 4th time around and he's all - it's not that bad.
Of course, he's never had an 8 and a half pound baby rip apart his body, so what the hell does he know. This is a fight I'm prepared to win. They will be staying in a hotel. Period.
I kind of hate them. Why can't they just leave me alone for a few weeks? That's all I ask.
And just who the hell is going to cook Christmas dinner? F*ck.
Showing posts with label Anonymous Him. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Anonymous Him. Show all posts
Monday, August 17, 2009
Thursday, August 13, 2009
It's already starting.
Oh, how I hate rugby. How I hate for my husband to be gone. How I wish he'd rather be with us!!
I know, I know, I KNOW that everyone deserves an outlet and needs a break. I go out with my friends a few times a month and I might be certifiably insane without it. My RATIONAL SIDE knows this but my irrational side doesn't give a shit. My irrational side wants him home while I run away to do ANYthing but what I've been doing all day.
When practice is from 6pm to DARK (about 8PM here right now) then I ASSUME that husband will be home about 30 minutes after dark. Not almost 2 hours later. Without a phone call.
Turns out, as I might have guessed, that he went to a sports bar with the guys and had a beer. No big deal really, but it's just so rude to not even call. What if I had needed him?!
He "forgot." 12 damn years together and his excuse is always that he forgot. Glad I'm so forgettable.
Really, he just doesn't get it. He doesn't understand that I worry. He doesn't understand why I get upset. He doesn't understand why I think it's a huge sign of disrespect. He had to drive at least 10 minutes from the field to the destination, and he has a working cell phone. How hard would it have been? Really.
Now he's mad that we have a birthday party on Saturday and I don't want him to go to practice. He PROMISED me a 50% commitment this year. Promised. (1 practice a week instead of 2 or 3, and home games only in the fall, half the games in the spring.)
I didn't believe him, but believe ME when I say that I plan on holding his ass to it.
I know, I know, I KNOW that everyone deserves an outlet and needs a break. I go out with my friends a few times a month and I might be certifiably insane without it. My RATIONAL SIDE knows this but my irrational side doesn't give a shit. My irrational side wants him home while I run away to do ANYthing but what I've been doing all day.
When practice is from 6pm to DARK (about 8PM here right now) then I ASSUME that husband will be home about 30 minutes after dark. Not almost 2 hours later. Without a phone call.
Turns out, as I might have guessed, that he went to a sports bar with the guys and had a beer. No big deal really, but it's just so rude to not even call. What if I had needed him?!
He "forgot." 12 damn years together and his excuse is always that he forgot. Glad I'm so forgettable.
Really, he just doesn't get it. He doesn't understand that I worry. He doesn't understand why I get upset. He doesn't understand why I think it's a huge sign of disrespect. He had to drive at least 10 minutes from the field to the destination, and he has a working cell phone. How hard would it have been? Really.
Now he's mad that we have a birthday party on Saturday and I don't want him to go to practice. He PROMISED me a 50% commitment this year. Promised. (1 practice a week instead of 2 or 3, and home games only in the fall, half the games in the spring.)
I didn't believe him, but believe ME when I say that I plan on holding his ass to it.
Sunday, April 19, 2009
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
FTR
Remember this? And this?
Well. Anonymous Him watched Eenie, Meenie and Miney this weekend for a few hours all by himself while I did some shopping with a friend. It was nap time and 2 of our 3 kidlets did not cooperate. Weee!
That night, out of the blue, AnonHim turned to me and said, "I was dumb to question what you do. Really stupid."
Trust me, this is huge. AnonHim is very confident (cocky) and sure of himself (never wrong.)
Apparently, retail therapy really IS what I needed.
Well. Anonymous Him watched Eenie, Meenie and Miney this weekend for a few hours all by himself while I did some shopping with a friend. It was nap time and 2 of our 3 kidlets did not cooperate. Weee!
That night, out of the blue, AnonHim turned to me and said, "I was dumb to question what you do. Really stupid."
Trust me, this is huge. AnonHim is very confident (cocky) and sure of himself (never wrong.)
Apparently, retail therapy really IS what I needed.
Thursday, September 4, 2008
Banging my head against the wall.
I was pissed when he finally got home at 7. Of course he didn't call. Big shocker there, even though we'd just talked it about less than 24 hours ago.
Even though I've been requesting a call if he's going to be more than 30 minutes.
Even though I've asked him to do this for YEARS.
Years and years of requests that have obviously gone in one ear and out the other.
I had taken his "suggestions" to heart and vacuumed the stairs and cleaned the bathroom floors and mopped and did all the regulr stuff too, but paid special attention to the stuff that was bugging him. However, it just made things worse that I'm willing to listen and change and he stays the same. BLAH!
I really let him have it after the kids went to bed and he was all, "If I'd known it was that big of a deal, I would have called. Sheesh."
That's when I started banging my head against the wall.
Arguing continued and then we made up. We'll see if things change but I've let it go. We're getting along fine now and things are fine.
Even though I've been requesting a call if he's going to be more than 30 minutes.
Even though I've asked him to do this for YEARS.
Years and years of requests that have obviously gone in one ear and out the other.
I had taken his "suggestions" to heart and vacuumed the stairs and cleaned the bathroom floors and mopped and did all the regulr stuff too, but paid special attention to the stuff that was bugging him. However, it just made things worse that I'm willing to listen and change and he stays the same. BLAH!
I really let him have it after the kids went to bed and he was all, "If I'd known it was that big of a deal, I would have called. Sheesh."
That's when I started banging my head against the wall.
Arguing continued and then we made up. We'll see if things change but I've let it go. We're getting along fine now and things are fine.
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
Fight, cont.
We hashed it out, but I can't say anything was resolved.
I hate to even admit it, but I can kind of see his side. I do spend a lot of time online, and while I DO deserve it, I also need to get offline sometimes.
Today I've tried to create a better balance and the house is still not that clean. Big shock.
We talked about other things too, like the lack of respect it shows when he can't even call when he's going to be late.
I told him that when he criticizes me in the manner he did and makes his "suggestions" I feel put down and unappreciated and all I can hear is "You're not good enough. You're not doing enough."
I told him how hard that is to hear when there are many days when I feel like I'm not even holding it all together. I'm barely hanging on and you're asking me to try harder!?
I don't think things were resolved. Despite me wanting to work it out, he eventually went to bed. I'm not sure where to go from here.
Also, I do partly blame his mother. She was one of those typical Southern women that you hear about, kwim?
Also, his parents did not cultivate a sense of how to treat your wife in him or his brothers. Very little affection (which he has overcome) and no thoughtfulness or romance. Irritating.
In spite of that, I don't feel so bitter about it anymore. I'm going to keep doing what I'm doing and he'll probably wisen up enough to shut up.
I hate to even admit it, but I can kind of see his side. I do spend a lot of time online, and while I DO deserve it, I also need to get offline sometimes.
Today I've tried to create a better balance and the house is still not that clean. Big shock.
We talked about other things too, like the lack of respect it shows when he can't even call when he's going to be late.
I told him that when he criticizes me in the manner he did and makes his "suggestions" I feel put down and unappreciated and all I can hear is "You're not good enough. You're not doing enough."
I told him how hard that is to hear when there are many days when I feel like I'm not even holding it all together. I'm barely hanging on and you're asking me to try harder!?
I don't think things were resolved. Despite me wanting to work it out, he eventually went to bed. I'm not sure where to go from here.
Also, I do partly blame his mother. She was one of those typical Southern women that you hear about, kwim?
Also, his parents did not cultivate a sense of how to treat your wife in him or his brothers. Very little affection (which he has overcome) and no thoughtfulness or romance. Irritating.
In spite of that, I don't feel so bitter about it anymore. I'm going to keep doing what I'm doing and he'll probably wisen up enough to shut up.
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
We had a fight.
And I still feel bitter.
Our Internet went out Friday night. I am addicted to the Internet. I can admit that, but it rubbed me the wrong way when Anonymous Him said I was. Just because I need it to keep in touch with people does not mean I can't survive without it. I CAN survive without it, but I don't think I should HAVE TO!
This was one of those fights that started small enough and could have been overcome by saying a few right things, or just shutting up. AnonHim was not smart that night. No sir. Instead, he said all the wrong things.
Things like -
You could cook and clean more instead of being online during the day.
You probably spend, like, an HOUR a day online. (poor, stupid man.)
You shouldn't be online AT ALL while I'm at work because if I'm working, you should be too.
There's more, but really - isn't that enough?
Does anyone else want to hurt him right now? I still feel bitter about the things he said.
I am so hurt. I have always been willing to do whatever it took to make things work, and to make him happy. I moved with him to Virginia, then to Alabama and we made a life together. I've always worked hard.
Now I've temporarily relocated to Seattle for him. I didn't WANT to do this. I never wanted to. I thought it would be a pain in the ass and horribly lonely.
He said it would be good for his career but we didn't have to do it. I said we should, even though I didn't want to. Now, here I am, miserable half the time and homesick all the time. So maybe I spend too much time online and talk to my friends and try to stay connected to someone.
He's working hard, admittedly. I've never questioned how hard he works.
That doesn't mean I don't work hard too. Just because I get to stay home and can nurse a baby and check email all at once doesn't mean I don't work too. I'd like to see him do that. (heh)
He hurt me. I felt completely unappreciated.
Let's not forget that dinner is on the table every night when he comes home. Often cold, because he can't tell time. The laundry could sit in the basket less time I suppose, but I hate laundry. It does get done. The kids are fed, the house is relatively clean and dammit - that's not the point!
I take care of our 3 children all day! If he wanted a maid and a cook then he should have hired one. I don't mind doing those things, but I certainly don't want to be told what to do.
Our oldest child is only 3.5 years old! If he expects the house to be pristine, then he's not thinking straight.
This fight is not over. I hate these things that drag on for days. Just because he insulted me and then rolled over and went to sleep does not mean it's over. Just because I got up and washed dishes and cried while he begged me to come back to bed does not mean anything is resolved.
I still feel bitter and I know it's going to come out. I don't want to feel this way. I want to feel happy and loved and loving and not irritated and bitter and full of sadness about the way this has turned out.
I often think how lucky I am and how much I love AnonHim and how awful my life would be without him. Then he does something stupid and I wonder if I even KNOW him, much less LOVE him!
Our Internet went out Friday night. I am addicted to the Internet. I can admit that, but it rubbed me the wrong way when Anonymous Him said I was. Just because I need it to keep in touch with people does not mean I can't survive without it. I CAN survive without it, but I don't think I should HAVE TO!
This was one of those fights that started small enough and could have been overcome by saying a few right things, or just shutting up. AnonHim was not smart that night. No sir. Instead, he said all the wrong things.
Things like -
You could cook and clean more instead of being online during the day.
You probably spend, like, an HOUR a day online. (poor, stupid man.)
You shouldn't be online AT ALL while I'm at work because if I'm working, you should be too.
There's more, but really - isn't that enough?
Does anyone else want to hurt him right now? I still feel bitter about the things he said.
I am so hurt. I have always been willing to do whatever it took to make things work, and to make him happy. I moved with him to Virginia, then to Alabama and we made a life together. I've always worked hard.
Now I've temporarily relocated to Seattle for him. I didn't WANT to do this. I never wanted to. I thought it would be a pain in the ass and horribly lonely.
He said it would be good for his career but we didn't have to do it. I said we should, even though I didn't want to. Now, here I am, miserable half the time and homesick all the time. So maybe I spend too much time online and talk to my friends and try to stay connected to someone.
He's working hard, admittedly. I've never questioned how hard he works.
That doesn't mean I don't work hard too. Just because I get to stay home and can nurse a baby and check email all at once doesn't mean I don't work too. I'd like to see him do that. (heh)
He hurt me. I felt completely unappreciated.
Let's not forget that dinner is on the table every night when he comes home. Often cold, because he can't tell time. The laundry could sit in the basket less time I suppose, but I hate laundry. It does get done. The kids are fed, the house is relatively clean and dammit - that's not the point!
I take care of our 3 children all day! If he wanted a maid and a cook then he should have hired one. I don't mind doing those things, but I certainly don't want to be told what to do.
Our oldest child is only 3.5 years old! If he expects the house to be pristine, then he's not thinking straight.
This fight is not over. I hate these things that drag on for days. Just because he insulted me and then rolled over and went to sleep does not mean it's over. Just because I got up and washed dishes and cried while he begged me to come back to bed does not mean anything is resolved.
I still feel bitter and I know it's going to come out. I don't want to feel this way. I want to feel happy and loved and loving and not irritated and bitter and full of sadness about the way this has turned out.
I often think how lucky I am and how much I love AnonHim and how awful my life would be without him. Then he does something stupid and I wonder if I even KNOW him, much less LOVE him!
Friday, August 29, 2008
Late
Dear Anonymous Him,
When you say that you'll be home at 5 or 5:30 please oblige. Don't tease me with the promise of adult conversation and a little help and then back out. Don't get irritated with me when I call you at 6:30 anddemand to know ask when you're coming home. You had an hour to call me and let me know you were going to be late.
How many times a week do we have to go through this?
Signed,
Anonymous Her
When you say that you'll be home at 5 or 5:30 please oblige. Don't tease me with the promise of adult conversation and a little help and then back out. Don't get irritated with me when I call you at 6:30 and
How many times a week do we have to go through this?
Signed,
Anonymous Her
Monday, August 25, 2008
4 kids?
Do you ever feel like you have a very large child? Sometimes I feel like I have 4 kids instead of just 3.
AnonHim is a great dad, but I hate always being the one to say - OK, it's bath time! or No, you can't have xyz.
I hate always being the one to get up at dinner for the crying baby. Unless I specifically ask AnonHim to do it, he won't. Maybe I should just ask more, but I don't think I should always have to.
I hate that he never cleans off the high chair tray too. I hate that job in particular.
Petty Vent over.
He really is a great dad, everybody has annoying little things. Me? I never remember to put new toilet paper on the roll. Drives him batty.
AnonHim is a great dad, but I hate always being the one to say - OK, it's bath time! or No, you can't have xyz.
I hate always being the one to get up at dinner for the crying baby. Unless I specifically ask AnonHim to do it, he won't. Maybe I should just ask more, but I don't think I should always have to.
I hate that he never cleans off the high chair tray too. I hate that job in particular.
Petty Vent over.
He really is a great dad, everybody has annoying little things. Me? I never remember to put new toilet paper on the roll. Drives him batty.
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Annoyed or Pleased?
I'm simultaneously annoyed and relieved that Anonymous Him managed to get half a day off on Friday. Annoyed because he hasn't had a SINGLE day off, including weekends, for a month. Relieved because he will be here while his parents are.
I think I'm more pleased than annoyed.
Stay tuned for annoying MIL comments. There will be many.
I think I'm more pleased than annoyed.
Stay tuned for annoying MIL comments. There will be many.
Saturday, August 16, 2008
Anonymous Him
Dear Anonymous Him,
It kills the mood when you don't want to wear a condom and we have to argue about it. Grow up.
Love,
Your Wife
Anonymous Her
It kills the mood when you don't want to wear a condom and we have to argue about it. Grow up.
Love,
Your Wife
Anonymous Her
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