February has really sucked ass. I feel like I'm losing it. I'm short with the kids, who have been constantly sick and whiny. It's not THEIR fault that they're sick, but dammit - my patience is totally gone, gone, GONE.
I don't want to play with them. I don't even feel like making them dinner, since they never eat it. I spend too much time on the computer. I let the laundry pile up because I can hide it in the closet, unlike the dishes, which annoy the crap out of me and so I do those obsessively.
I've eaten 2 boxes of GS cookies THIS WEEK and that is pathetic and sad. *sigh* I've barely exercised in days and I have eaten too much in my pity party. That makes me feel even worse, which makes me want to say "To Hell with it!" and eat whatever the hell I want.
I hate winter. I hate having sick kids. I hate not leaving the house for anything fun for weeks on end. I hate wanting to lose weight but not having enough motivation to PUT DOWN THE COOKIES... I need a break. I need a break. I need a break.
I'm going to go make myself work out now, and take advantage of some endorphins. But I really don't want to. I'd rather sit on the couch in a lump and watch TV.
6 comments:
Wow. I could have written this post myself.
I've been stuck in a parenting funk for a while, now. I'm not an active mom anymore, just sort of a robot. I don't want to play or engage with Maddie, I just want to sit on the computer or read a book. I feel terrible about it.
I'm hoping that going back to work part-time will lift the ennui and make me appreciate the time I have with my daughter instead of constantly counting the hours until bedtime.
I agree, too. Do you think it's just a seasonal thing? I hate spending the days counting down until bedtime (FREEDOM!) but that's what I've been doing lately. I keep telling myself that I'll regret wishing this time away, but I can't help it.
It could definitely be the season. I NEED some sunshine!
I know that I truly, REALLY need a break. I'm going out to dinner with some friends tonight and then have a baby shower tomorrow so I'm hoping that will help.
I hate being in this funk. February is always like this. Why does Feb suck so much?
I'm sorry you guys are going through this too. Ug.
Everyone always says to enjoy these moments and I KNOW they're right, but it's so HARD when you're IN the moment.
I understand. Especially about cooking the dinner no one will eat? Which just contributes to that blasted pile of dishes?
*Sigh*
Ugh. It sucks to feel this way. I think part of it is the weather and the season and the sickness on top of that. But maybe you can talk to Anonymous Him about this? And arrange to have a time every now and then when you leave the house without the kids, just you, or get a babysitter and you go out together? Just to give you a bit of a break.
I went out to dinner Friday night and AnonHim stayed home with our 3 kids AND 2 of my friend's kids! HE is a Saint and didn't even complain. THen, Sat, I had a baby shower here for my moms group and he helped me get ready, put the kids to bed and hid in the bedroom all night so as not to "disturb" us. I feel much more sane today. Tired. But sane.
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