ARGH!

Oh goodness, it's good to be home.
My mil is a pill and a pain. My fil isn't much better right now, in my book. Don't even get me started on my sister and brother in law.
All I can say is, thank you for the almost 1000 miles that separates us.

MIL:
The sighs, the innuendos about us not spending enough time there and spending too much with my sister, the overheard remarks about her seeing Miney ONLY 4 times and he's ALREADY 6 months old (we came there 2 of those times.)
The pushing of sugar and candy on my kids who are SICK and NOT interested. Fine, offer them a cookie - you're a grandma after all! BUT AT BREAKFAST? When they're happily eating cereal and eggs? WHY?!!!
Oh, then the comments about how Meenie is soooo MOODY. (Sick + sugar + not enough sleep + 19 months old = moody. Who knew?! ha)
The terrible cooking, the passive aggressive comments about everything, the perceived slights where there were none. ARGH!
As usual, MIL tried to parent the kids. To make it worse, she does things that I don't do and she KNOWS I don't approve of. She pits them against each other, she tries to scare them and she jumps in when I already have things under control. She is notorious with her own kids because she regularly locked them in the closet when she was on the phone. (as in linen closet. on the shelves. NOT a big closet.)
She wonders why we will never leave the kids with them, or let them stay a week and spend the night, but she has actually slapped Eenie's hand in the past, after I was specific that we don't do that. I have no doubt whatsoever that she would spank them if she felt if necessary and then I might have to strangle her.
If they were HER kids, that would be fine, but these are MY kids. Our kids, our way.

FIL:
Ack, the baptism stuff. I'm so furious over this that I was almost in tears when Anonhim told me. We spent a lot of money and went to a LOT of trouble to get there and then found we were deliberately misled. I am so disappointed. Not only because he didn't baptise Miney, but because he KNEW he wouldn't and didn't tell us. AND because he's always been the level headed one who balanced MIL out, but more and more I feel that he doesn't care for me or the way we do things and is letting her getting away with things that he wouldn't have in the past. With no anchor, how bad will she get?
He also seemed rather disapproving about the way we discipline (i.e. don't spank) our kids. I can take disapproval, but I would prefer that it come with silence and respect.

Sister and BIL:
My sister and bil must be miserable. They fight constantly. They are mean to each other and scream, yell and berate their sweet, sweet girls all the time. They have no patience and I have NEVER seen them play with their kids. They get mad about EVERYTHING and their girls are going to rebel in a big way someday. I fear for their teenage years.
Every time I leave there, I feel like crying. What can I do?
If I said anything they would be furious with me and possibly never speak to me again. It stresses me out just being around them. They honestly fight constantly. Constantly.
Picture it:
We're all going to church. About 30 minutes before we have to leave sister puts 2 older girls (3 & 6) in shower. Yells at them constantly to hurry up. Dries them off, screams to brush teeth. Dresses them, spanks oldest because she doesn't want to wear those shoes. Gives in anyway and lets her wear the shoes that she wants to wear. (Not sure why it's a big deal, just let her wear the damn shoes!) BIL is cussing at them to hurry the hell up all the time. Their very long hair is wet and he screams at sister for not drying it and drags crying girls to bathroom to blow dry hair. Threatens to "beat their asses" if they don't quit crying.
(This is the point Anonhim and I left before I punched them both in the face.)
My mother said that after we left bil said that if their kids were going to be bad while we were there, we wouldn't be invited back anymore.

I swear, what the hell can I do? I think they are awful parents and if that was just a dark, dark moment I could excuse it. That is an everyday occurrence. I can't even describe the tone of their voices. I had a knot in my stomach the whole time. Their poor kids. They are sweet, good, girls and I fear that have been, and are being, scarred.

If I lived closer 2 things would definitely happen:

1. I would offer to watch their girls whenever possible and show them how they ought to be treated.
2. I would probably let my sister and her husband have it and/or smack some sense into them and they would never speak to me again.
   

My sister

Oh my gawd. My head is going to explode.

My sister had her new baby. An adorable, sweet little thing. She was born on Monday. She lives far, far away, so who knows when we'll be able to see her. This is her 3rd child and 3rd daughter.

She refused to even try to breastfeed this one, even though she successfully breastfed the other 2 for six weeks. (until she went back to work.) I know 6 weeks isn't long, but it's some. She didn't even give this babe colostrum. She doesn't feel like it.
This is a tricky subject because I KNOW some people don't like or didn't like or didn't want to, breastfeed. Fine. Whatever.
It's an issue in my heart, but I understand that people are different. I haven't said a word to her about it and don't plan to. Formula is fine. Plenty of babies have thrived on it.

Now, my mom is telling me that she (sister) is insisting that her 3 day old baby needs to be on a 4 HOUR SCHEDULE. Even though she's screaming to eat after 2 hours. Gah. I want to smack her.

She is pissed that everyone is asking if the baby is a boy or girl because even though she's dressed in pink she has an extremely masculine name. Like, not even close to gender neutral.
I figured she'd expect that. Whatever. Her hormones are wacky - I get it. Totally get it. Been there.

Her husband (who is an alcoholic but cannot admit it) is telling everyone that he only drinks because of her. She is decidedly hard to get along with. Kind of horrible sometimes. He's no peach either though.

Their girls are so sweet. Her oldest started Kindergarten Monday. There was much screaming and yelling and "WHY DO I SEND YOU TO SCHOOL IF I HAVE TO TEACH YOU!?" last night. Child was willing to do homework. Parent was not.

There is always a lot of screaming there. I feel bad for yelling, but I can't even compare to her. Not even close.

I love my sister and her family but sometimes it is not easy. Actually, loving my nieces is extremely easy. Their parents? Not so much.